Tuesday, March 28, 2017

4:00 AM #1

I've been waking up at 4:00 AM a lot recently... the exception being last night when I just stayed awake thru 4:00 until about 5:30. So, I thought I'd share some of the thoughts that roll around in my exhausted brain at that time of the morning.

Enter: Conversations I Have With Myself Under The Influence of Staying Up Entirely Too Late
(When You Know It's Bad For Your Brain Health -- But You Do It Anyway)
Warning: Exhausted Brain Equals Language Alert

~K

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The Inner Dichotomy of a "Good Girl"

stupid pillow sham keeps slipping off my pillow like a used condom
you shouldn't say things like that, it isn't ladylike
why not? it's true
how do you know? when was the last time you saw a used condom slipping off a penis?
in person?
yes, in person
never
exactly, so you can't say that
yes I can
no
yes, I can -- I can imagine that is what it looks like so... 
why are you imagining that your pillow is phallic?
I'm not
yes you are! you just compared the sham on it to a condom
no -- I compared the sham coming off of it to a used condom -- there is a difference
no there isn't
yes there is
why am I even having this conversation? these aren't things "good girls" talk about
says who?
your mother, the folks at church, everyone looking at you -- expecting you to be this sweet, kind, benevolent princess girl... princesses probably don't make dick comparisons to pillows
well so? you aren't a princess
umm, yes -- yes you are... a princess of God Most High by way of Jesus Christ -- thank you very much
don't bring God into this
why not? 
don't taint what is Holy with your potty-mouth brain
He knows I'm thinking it anyway -- might as well be honest
oh girl -- say a prayer
CRAAAPPP -- alarm clock just went off and I'm still awake... thinking stupid thoughts with you!
so hit snooze and take a nap
gahhh -- work is gonna suuuuck
yeah, go to bed... we can finish the penis pillow conversation later
I don't want to finish it later -- I'm done with it now
no no -- it's early and you're tired... there is still more to say -- you're not done yet -- we'll come back to it. 
noooo!!!
yes
I hate it when you do this
just go to sleep and quit thinking about it

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